The projection of Love

Last weekend I was at a Zen retreat where I witnessed a kind of induction ceremony for teachers in the tradition. This kicked off some questions for me and a couple of Zazen sessions later it sparked me to contemplate the purpose of our gradings in Aikido. So these musings are a simple sharing of a change of perspective that occurred in me during this silent retreat. 

The motivation
Driven by fear or driven by love?
In most schools of Aikido students start taking gradings from an early stage beginning with the white belt (Kyu) degrees and then progressing to the black belt (Dan) degrees. Each grading includes an exam where the teacher(s) test the student’s progress in technique, movement and attitude on the mat. It is after this exam that we do or don’t get promoted to the next grade. Given the way most of us have grown up this kind of set-up easily gets us into achievement mode or even into comparison with fellow students.

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This achievement and comparison mode can be a big trap with quite detrimental consequences for individuals, groups and communities inside the Aikido world and outside of it. When I look more closely I find it is completely opposite to everything I have learned through Aikido, simply because - as the founder of the art said - “Aikido is based on the projection of love” and where personal achievement and comparison are the primary driver love is impossible.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not against personal achievement or against celebrating it. What I am saying is that as long as our "trying to get somewhere" is what drives us within we may be technically competent, yet we have missed something essential. On the mat uke is likely to feel that and off the mat it translates into tight and fearful relationships too. 

When I started my Aikido practice I was lucky to have a teacher whom I trusted deeply and I learned very early that Aikido training wasn’t about getting ahead. Gradings were more a matter of recognizing where the student was already and they never had a strong taste of personal achievement.

But if it’s not about measuring personal achievement, then what are these Aikido gradings about? And are they useful after all?

The Choice

Closed off or wide open?

In the silence of the retreat, gazing at the Zen garden between sessions of sitting meditation a new perspective occurred to me: What if receiving a grade was first and foremost a commitment to what is sometimes called “wearing your grade”? This is not about displaying how great you are; rather it means living your insight and wisdom as best you can every day – on and off the mat.

Personally I would like to focus more on this inner commitment as I take an exam, receive a grading certificate and continue to train. When I receive a grade I want my bow to be one of gratitude to all my teachers and one of re-commitment within myself.

As we continue on our Aikido journey there is also another element that comes into the practice. It is the element of sharing and helping others to grow and discover Aikido for and in themselves. I do not mean we should all make ourselves into teachers. Maybe it is most of all about paying attention to how we train with others, how we offer an attack, the way we place our shoes, the way we speak with each other. If we can do this with sincerity and openness I believe we are helping each other learn.

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So then what about teaching? When should someone start to teach?

In my experience I cannot find an absolute answer to this and certainly not a particular grade. There simply may come the point where we are called upon to take up the role of a teacher – not just because we want to but because we have learned a lot and the students are there. When this happens I now see it as our responsibility to hear this call and to do it with all our heart. Sometimes we may not feel up to it on the day or maybe there is some inner doubt keeping us back (this has certainly tripped me up before) but we do it anyway. It’s a tricky one to know when to teach and how to teach because it requires a lot of awareness of our own motivations. It also needs the ability to see what is required of us in each moment and the courage to take along our vulnerability and do it anyway. 

 

Lastly, I now hope for the courage and presence to live by these insights more and more.

This quote from “The Art of Peace” by Morihei Ueshiba, founder of Aikido inspires me and helps me remember:

If you have not
Linked yourself
To true emptiness,
You will never understand
The Art of Peace.